d road is funny.... quite meaningful thou mistorted d real meanin :D

I love this Doctor, mate.... 

 

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A:           Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer;

That’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster.     

Want to live longer? Take a nap. 

 

Q: Should I cut down on meat & eat more fruits &vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn.

   And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

 

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? 

A:  No, not at all.  Wine is made from fruit.  Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of  the fruity bit so you  get even more of the goodness that  way. Beer is also made out of grain.  Bottoms up!

 

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. 

   If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

 

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise  program?

A: Can’t think of a single one, sorry.  My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

A:  YOU’RE NOT LISTENING!!! .....  Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. 

    In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you? 

 

Q:  Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach. 

 

Q:  Is chocolate bad for me? 

A:  Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

 

Q:  Is swimming good for your figure? 

A:  If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

 

Q:  Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle? 

A:  Hey!  'Round' is a shape! 

 

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

 

And remember:

'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways -

Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up,  totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'…..

AND.....

 

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final  word on nutrition and health.

It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional  studies. 

 

1. The Japanese eat very little fat

     and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

 

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat

     and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

 

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine

     and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

 

4. The Italians drink a lot of red  wine

    and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 

 

 

CONCLUSION

 

Eat and drink what you like.

Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

just for laugh .. make sure we communicate clearly ... :o)

                        Miscommunication:
                        A co-worker got a pen stuck inside our printer. He
                        started to try and remove the pen, but I told him we
                        don't have time for that now, just put a note on the
                        printer telling folks not to use it and then report it
                        to the Help Desk. So he grabbed a piece of paper and
                        scrawled on it. I left before he finished the note.
                        About 20 minutes later, one of my techs comes in
                        laughing and says he was just in the lobby, saw a
                        piece of paper on a printer and went to investigate.
                        Attached is what he found. Sometimes things don't

This is really funny... check this out..... hahahahaha.....



A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.
The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped Centimeters from a shop window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!"

The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much."

The driver replied, "Its okay, that's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a
funeral van for the last 25 years."

haha that really is funny. trying not to laugh out loud in the office :x

Posted By cjy666 on 31 May 2010 01:41 PM
just for laugh .. make sure we communicate clearly ... :o)

                        Miscommunication:
                        A co-worker got a pen stuck inside our printer. He
                        started to try and remove the pen, but I told him we
                        don't have time for that now, just put a note on the
                        printer telling folks not to use it and then report it
                        to the Help Desk. So he grabbed a piece of paper and
                        scrawled on it. I left before he finished the note.
                        About 20 minutes later, one of my techs comes in
                        laughing and says he was just in the lobby, saw a
                        piece of paper on a printer and went to investigate.
                        Attached is what he found. Sometimes things don't

                        always come out the way you want them to........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

lol.. is funny...