hubby sent me this...enjoy reading!

TIME MANAGEMENT

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.

When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?"
"Well", he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare.
"I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now."
I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies.
So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"
"Oh, certainly!" then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant.That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent.
I asked, "After you get it out, how do you put it back?" "Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon.

thanks for all to contribute jokes for the day to brighten the day of hard works

Chua, is there any website about jokes in Chinese text? kind to recom pls.

*Caution... They Walk Amongst Us!**

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge,
he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: 'Free to good
home. You want it, you take it.' For three days the fridge sat there without
even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were
too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed
the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.' The next day someone stole it.


One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone
shouted....'Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky and
said...'where???'


While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction
was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every
morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?' When my brother
explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook
her head and said, 'Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff.'


My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard
one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on
her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a convertible, but 'didn't
think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving'.


I told the girl at the steakhouse register that I wanted the half kilogram
sirloin. She informed me they only had an 500g sirloin. Not wanting to
make a scene, I told her I would take the 500g steak instead of the
half-kg.


My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a
seat belt if she gets trapped She keeps it in the boot...


My friends and I were shopping for beer and noticed that the cases were
discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier
multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount....


I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring
attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, 'Wouldn't the chain rip
out every time she turned her head?' I had to explain that a person's nose
and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is
turned...


I got off the plane but I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area.
So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags
never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a
trained professional and I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, 'Has
our plane arrived yet?'...


While working at a pizza parlour I observed a man ordering a small pizza to
go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut
into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding..
'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.


*Sadly, not only do they walk Amongst us, they also reproduced!!!!*

the pix tells the story...

there's also a spoof video clip of hitler on ERP.. wonder if folks here have seen it.

haha i like this erp joke.... imagine the plane flyin halfway..the gantry flies closer to it to charge

Hellos! Sorry havn't been posting jokes, cos I had my wisdom teeth removed since last wed, so MC till today then came back to office. Hehe.

haha.. is this a true case? :p

I not exactly sure, just got this only,
But sure looks like what a lawyer would do! LOL

CHRISTMAS CAROL 2008


You'd better watch out,
You'd better not cry;
You'd better keep cash,
I'm telling you why:
Recession is coming to town.

It's hitting you once,
It's hitting you twice
It doesn't care if you've been careful and wise
Recession is coming to town

It's worthless if you've got shares
It's worthless if you've got bonds
It's safe when you've got cash in hand
So keep cash for goodness sake, HEY

You'd better watch out
You'd better not cry
You'd better keep cash
I'm telling you why:
Recession is coming to town!

Finance products are confusing
Finance products are so vague
The banks make you bear the cost of risk
So keep out for goodness sake, OH

You'd better watch out
You'd better not cry
You'd better keep cash
I'm telling you why:
Recession is coming to town.

After a week...

Must Work Hard man



Must Work Hard for me u know!

hahaha that's funny Hya!

i guess bosses are just as stressed in recession. no income tough to survive.

think will be even more funny if there's one more pic showing a big dog behind the cat :p